Uncharted Waters Part 12: Second Embarkation|A Mother’s Journey from Death to Life #PregnancyandInfantLossAwareness

After worship at our church missions conference, a good friend walked forward and spoke into the microphone.  He was forming a short term mission trip to Poland and asked everyone to consider coming with him to help teach English to the Polish people.

Something in my heart began to stir with compassion for the people of Poland. It was the same compassion that drew me to go to Ukraine to minister to the people there who didn’t know the love of Christ.

Yet I felt a twinge of hesitation.

It had only been a few months since Luke died. I was still grieving and wasn’t feeling close to Billy.

This was the second time that Billy had the chance to go to Poland. When April was a baby, another trip had formed, but he felt unsure about going. Now he had a strong desire to go, and he wanted me to join him.

To see Billy want to serve the Lord on a mission trip gave me the motivation I needed to go. I set my reservations aside. We both prayed and committed to go to Poland.

The night before the mission trip, the whole mission team prayed and fasted. Shifting the focus from myself and my pain to trusting in the Lord filled me with hope.

Even though the Lord was leading me out of my comfort zone, He had a plan and purpose for it.  He was the One who didn’t change, even though everything else in my life seemed to be turned upside down.

From the moment I set foot on Polish soil, I felt the presence of the Lord with me. It was cool outside and a sprinkle of rain wet my forehead. Like a banner of God’s love, a vivid rainbow arched over the city of Poznan.

Like in the days of Noah, the rainbow reminded me of God’s provision of salvation. 

God's holiness against sin is so great, all must stand before Him and suffer His judgement. But God's love for His creation is just as great. Despite the world's rampant violence and depravity before the flood, Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. He was given divine instructions to build the ark and be saved.

The same is true for us.

We can find grace in the eyes of the Lord. He gave us divine instructions in His ancient holy Word for how to be saved from His righteous judgement. In the safety of Christ. His divine blood shed on the cross made the perfect payment for our sins. We need only believe to be saved. And in His resurrection, He reflected what is to come, a world made new.

In Him, we have new life, eternal life, where all things are made new. 

Living out that new life can be sometimes be difficult and painful, but He promises He will always be with us.

On the first day of English Club, Billy and I kept arguing over seemingly trivial things. We couldn’t seem to work together as a team. It made me wonder. If we can’t get along, what does the future hold for us?

The next day, during class, we began to gel as a teaching team. The students loved Billy's sense of humor in playing group games, and I thoroughly enjoying leading the students in English grammar.

During devotional time, we read Jesus’ parable of the Lost Son (from Luke 15:11-32).  Each Pole took turns reading a few verses, and we asked about their feelings toward each of the characters in the parable. The students shared a deep respect for the father in the parable who showed compassion toward his wayward son.

We explained that the English word compassion meant to “suffer with” someone, as if you felt their pain. Then we went around the room asking each student how they had been shown compassion.

One Pole, named Micah, had a heart-breaking story. He told us about a time he was in an accident, and his car flipped over several times. He was stuck in the car, and kept seeing people walk by, but no one stopped to help him.

He waited twenty-five minutes before someone helped. He said he didn’t feel like people showed compassion like the father in the story.

By the end of the week, we felt close to all our new Polish friends. Some of them joined us after English Club to travel to a park and play American sports.

We rode a tram (similar to a trolley) and passed by a woman who was in a car accident. She stood hunched over near her mangled automobile.

Micah’s story played through my mind. I hoped someone would stop to help her.

At first, her back was facing us, but as we drew closer, I could tell that she was holding her stomach. She was pregnant!

I burst into tears, because I wanted to help her, but I was stuck on the tram.

Someone dressed like a nurse rushed across the street to help the woman.

Spotting the pregnant woman in need was a trigger for a new wave of grief. I wept and buried my face into Billy’s chest.

He held me close and prayed for the woman and her baby. His familiar strong arms comforted me in my grief. Arms I longed for, as I grieved for Luke.

Little did I know, this was the calm before the storm. And I was in for the greatest battle of my life.

For Part 1, click here.

Part 13 is found here.