A New Year, A New Song

Our wee one, Little Bit, has a hard time taking a nap at any place other than home. And, we were visiting family for Christmas. By the time naptime rolled around, she was not happy, to say the least.

A walk in the stroller out-of-doors was in due order and pronto!

Sunshine Girl followed along, and as I pushed the stroller, we took turns searching for dandelions to blow.

It wasn't long before Little Bit was a happy camper.

But then, Sunshine Girl had a sorrowful look on her face.  And, then I saw why. 

A little bird lie still and lifeless on the side of the road. Sunshine Girl bent down low to get a good look at it.

"Can I touch it, Mommy?"

"Better not, honey, it's dead; it's little heart isn't beating anymore.  Best leave the little bird alone."

Someone had cared enough to leave some flowers on the road right next to it.

"Poor little thing," I mused.

Being the lover of nature that I am, I think my children have followed suit. I found out later, that Bright Girl had left the flowers.

Finding the fallen bird left a little ache in my heart, reminding me of many little aches I have felt this year.

Like Billy still being jobless (it's almost been a year now),

and my side of the family are all sick (I couldn't see them for Christmas).

What do I do with all these little aches and pains of life in this broken world?

What will 2013 have in store for me?

{{Is anybody out there?}} 

{{Does anybody care?}}

Well, yes.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

He is there. He does care. Even for the little fallen birds.

Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows" (Matthew 10:29-31, NASB)

{{Hallelujah!  What a Savior!}}

Just knowing that Christ cares has really lifted me up and given me peace in my heart and hope for the future.

Thankfully, I don't have to sit around worrying about what 2013 will be like or what little ache will come next. I know my Savior will take care of me.

"He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD" (Psalm 40:3)

A Symphony of Peace

How can there be a melody in life's sorrows?

By listening to the harmony of His love and goodness.

How can there be rest in the fret of tomorrow?

By knowing that even minor notes will bless.

It was the night of my twelve-year-old’s piano recital, and she still couldn't get through her piece without her fingers slipping.

"It's no use, Mom. I just can't get it right." Her face fell. 

Having a houseful of children, it's hard to focus on just one, but I knew this was a moment I couldn't let pass by. 

Amidst the happy cacophony of my two middle children, chasing around the Christmas tree, and baby pulling on my pant legs to be picked up, I felt a flood of compassion for my tween-aged girl.

"Even if you mess up horribly and don't get a single note right, I'll still love you."

You could see her shoulders relax; she tried one more time.

There were still a few missed notes here and there, but she wasn't fazed. She had tried her best and was ready to go.

Another day, another moment. My ten-aged daughter wants me to read to her but I've got a fussy baby needing a rocking and a nap.

I've already said to her twice maybe three times, "another time, dear one, Mommy's busy right now."

And, here she is again, asking for me, for my lap, for my love.

The moment is about to pass me by. I sense an urging to slow down.

Settling the baby in my lap and her big sister at my side, we explore the wonderful far off places we can visit in books.

Picture a house. Only this house is not only made of brick, stone, or wood, but of flesh and blood, sweat and tears. This is our house. Our house doesn't just need beds made and floors swept clean. It needs kind words, hugs and kisses, blessings, and prayers.

We, as mommies, get this inordinate affection for perfection of our home, when the home of our heart is anything but. Our restlessness is indicative of the state of our hearts.

Our bodies are the house and dwelling place of the Spirit of the living God, and when we open the windows of our eyes and look to God, the Father of lights, we too will be filled with His love and goodness.

If we would but make time each day to climb into our Father's lap and let Him read His Word to us, then our house and our heart will be a haven of peace for our children. 

By the mercy and grace of God manifested in our lives, we mothers can be the lap incarnate for our little ones to climb upon and rest.

And, then they would know the peace of Christ that surpasses understanding, and our faith would be actions not just spoken words.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

The Monkey Trap

My six-month-old plunged her hand into the bite-sized snack canister, grabbing some little ringed-shaped, apple-flavored, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. After attempting to pull out a handful, much to her surprise, it was stuck! 

Like a monkey trap, when she tried to hold onto those delicious goodies, her hand became inevitably, most assuredly, stuck.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" she calls to me.

But, wait. When I gently tug on her hand, I can’t pull it free. She has to let go of her own accord. It takes some time and coaxing, but she finally releases her grasp. And, then her hand was free.

Doesn’t that sounds a lot like me—like all of us?

We find something we want, but we can't have it (for me lately, perfection in some way, shape, or form), but we don't want to let it go. And, if we don't let go, we're stuck. Unable to enjoy life as the gift it truly is.

So, we hold onto that idea or idol with all our might, all our being. Until, the Lord brings us to our senses and we cry out, "Abba!  Father!  Who will save me from this body of sin and death?!" (Romans 7:24)

Our Father in heaven, our Deliverer comes, but we have to let go of our idols and cling to Him alone.

He will not force us, but He's there, coaching us, speaking tenderly to us, wooing us to Himself. If we would but let go, we would be free and wrapped in the loving arms of the Almighty.

So, what's it gonna be? Will you let go, or will you cling to that which will be the death of you?

Life is waiting, if you would but let go and let God. One finger at a time. Ten digits loosed and the weight of something that will suck the life out of you will be gone.

You don't really need it, but you do need Him. He will fill the void with His Spirit and the fruit that comes from abiding in Him:

To be truly alive and free and held close by the One who came to set us free.

Believe me it's worth it.

Just let it go.

"My dear brothers, take note of this, let every man be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:19)."

A Christmas Tree Story

Our family has quite a story about our first pre-lit artificial Christmas tree, involving a mangy kitty, a can of Lysol, and lots of forgiveness.  

Several years ago, we took in a cat from a relative, and he was quite a mess.  

His hair had been shaved, his bottom burned because he sat on a hot stove, and he was full of fleas. I made an appointment to get all his shots and to have him neutered. But, the vet couldn't see him for a week.

Knowing that cats mark their territory if they aren't fixed, I made him a nice cozy spot in our garage, until his appointment.

After he went to the vet, we started him on flea treatment, he grew out a beautiful, healthy fur coat.

It was after Thanksgiving that we decided to put up the Christmas tree—the Christmas tree, only a year ago, my husband had braved the mad dash to get the rock bottom Black Friday price at Macy's.  

Right away, we noticed the bag that held the tree had something brownish and sticky on it. One good whiff and we knew that our kitty had done a little territorial "marking" on the bag, before we had him fixed—and, it must have happened months ago.

The puddle had been sitting on the bag all that time. I hoped that the bag kept the tree from olfactory ruin, but upon opening it and getting an eye watering sniff, we both knew the stench had definitely gotten through.

My husband rushed to the store and purchased a few cans of air freshener. Spraying it with all his might, he desperately tried to de-stink the tree, but to no avail.

The garbage truck came the next day and took away our beautiful, musty pre-lit Christmas tree.

We were disappointed to be sure but, we forgave our kitty. He couldn't help marking our Christmas tree. It was in his nature. He had to be changed before he could do any differently.

We humans are the same.

We want to be humane, caring, giving, and loving, but can't seem to pull it off. Instead, we are angry brutes and deal with people's hearts like a bull in a china shop, piercing through and wounding all in our wake.

It really stinks.

Sin that is.

There is an internal change that we must all undergo to be saved from our sins.

Unlike Lysol (which didn't work), the taint and effects of sin, by the power of the Holy Spirit, as we walk in humble obedience, is truly lifted from our hearts and our nature is changed for the better.

Our sins are such an awful stench to God that Jesus Christ received the full due punishment for them all on the cross. By His grace we are saved, by His stripes we are healed. If we hold onto the truth in obedience without wavering, our lives will be transformed.

It is my hope that by the grace of God, the people of God, one person at a time, will reflect the beauty of the Lord and the curse and stink of sin will be done away with.  

Then we will be able to breathe deeply the sweet fragrance of the love of Christ that will emanate from our lives to this lost and broken world.

“…looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds. (Titus 2:14, NASB

Advent Prayers

This year I wanted to do something different for Advent.

I was going to skip the traditional calendar with opening flaps to find the surprise inside and do something different and hopefully more meaningful. 

I usually have a hard time coming up with family oriented activities on my own, but thankfully this one came to mind. 

Later, a friend posted the same sort of thing on her status so I knew it was meant to be.

It burdens me that there are countries that are restricted and even hostile to those who are Christians and don't really know who Jesus is and why we celebrate his birth.

For each day before Christmas, we as a family will pray for one country and write the name of the country on strips of green and blue paper--the colors of our lovely planet earth.

Stapling the strips together, we will create a paper chain to wrap around our Christmas tree and remind us to pray for the people of those countries. 

"Colombia really needs prayer," one friend wrote on my facebook page. She knew friends who were missionaries in Colombia that were killed for sharing the gospel.

If you would like to join our family in prayer for the nations this advent you can follow my blog and make your own advent prayer chain from the following pages:

Advent Prayers for Restricted Nations

Voice of the Martyrs webpage (http://www.persecution.com/public/restrictednations.aspx?clickfrom=bWFpbl9tZW51)
and World Watch List from Open Doors International:
http://www.opendoorsusa.org/christian-persecution/world-watch-list/wwl-downloads/

“Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body.” (Hebrews 13:3) “Carry Each Other’s Burdens” (Galatians 6:2)

A Little Bit Older

Little Bit has turned one year old.

My what a year this has been. 

She is the smiliest baby and continues to bring joy to our house.

Here she is, practicing her newest sensation...smelling.

We call it "sniffy-sniffy."

You can hear Bright Girl egging her on..."Do the sniffy-sniffy! Do the sniffy-sniffy!"

I love the way she scrunches up her face and bewitches us with her little nose twitching like a cuddly bunny.

This year, we had a dual Halloween/Birthday Bash and everyone dressed up:

Captain Kirk,

Luke Skywalker,

Mulan and Scarlet O'Hara,

Lieutenant Mommy and Birthday Baby

She liked her toys all right, but I think what she really wanted was her own Enterprise—just like her big brother.

Little Man taught her how to push the button on the top and make it light up!

I think we have another Little Trekkie on our hands...

She makes her daddy proud!

Pretty soon she'll be able to pull her middle and index finger apart and say, "Live Long and Prosper."

We shall see...

In any case, my hope for her is that she will grow up to know that she is loved, by her mommy, her daddy, but mostly by her Father in Heaven who gave the greatest gift of all, His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. 

In Him, everyday is a celebration for the Life He gave so that we might truly live.

"For He made Him who knew no sin that we might have the righteousness of God in Him."

 (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV) 

Faith of My Fathers

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What am I teaching my kids about America, land of the free and home of the brave?

Bright Girl and I just read through a book about America in the early 1900's, during WWI. The story was about two children orphaned from the influenza outbreak and raised in a Shakers community called Dear America: Like the Willow Tree by Lois Lowry. 

Like the Pilgrims, the Shakers came to America fleeing religious persecution in England. Since then, the Shaker communities have dwindled down to nearly a handful of people, if even. With no new generation to carry on their simple ways of life, they may be the last of the Shakers.  Following the teachings of one of their founders (though it is not a Biblical teaching), Shakers all have to practice celibacy and do not have any children.  

It makes me think of my roots, physical and spiritual. My family tree on my mother's side is full of aunts, uncles, and cousins. My father's side, I didn't meet until I was about sixteen, but that's another story...

Last count, my eldest grandfather, the one on my father's side, has upwards of about eighteen great-grandchildren.  How could this possibly be, you might say?  Well, he just turned 101 years old and is still going strong. 

Grandpa Hedges was born in 1911, the second to youngest of 10 children. His grandfather lived to be 100, and he's had several siblings live beyond 100, as well. It looks as if he has some sort of longevity gene. But, if you ask Grandpa, or Grandpa Ernie as we grandkids call him, he would say it is his faith that has kept him strong. 

  

Here is Grandpa Ernie holding the "Happy 101" sign. A WWII veteran, Grandpa was chosen to gather with other vets at Washington D.C. courtesy of The Space Coast Honor Flight.

Amidst the trials and tribulations of life, the Lord has helped my grandpa to remain at peace. When many American soldiers had to return to the states from shell shock or suffered from the rigors of war, Grandpa Ernie remained as a cook and a medic in the Army during WWII. He was an organ player and played hymns for his fellow soldiers with a portable organ to cheer their spirits.

Grandpa got to know everyone he met, and soon befriended a young Italian boy named Andrea. Andrea offered to have his sister wash Grandpa Ernie's clothes in exchange for sapone or soap. Little did Grandpa know that this sister was a beautiful Italian young woman named Cina. They fell in love and married shortly thereafter.

After the war was over, Grandpa Ernie came back home to the United States, but had to leave someone very special behind in Italy—his bride. The war brides had to wait several months apart from their husbands before being allowed into the U.S. It was a long and heartbreaking wait for Cina. She was pregnant and ended up losing the baby while in Italy.

Grandpa made his living as a baker, and owned Hedges Bakery in Downtown Melbourne. The bakery was quite the competition for nearby Publix. Grandpa's edge was that he made everything with all natural ingredients. Even before trans-fats, refined flour and corn syrup were known to be bad for cardiovascular health, Grandpa Ernie only used healthy oils, unrefined sugar and whole grains in his cookies, cakes, and doughnuts.
   
My Nonna Cina was Grandpa Ernie's true love. They were married for over 50 years and had four children. When she went to be with the Lord back in 1998, Grandpa never remarried. He couldn't love another the way he loved his bride from Italy.

When Grandpa Ernie turned 92, he published his life story, Flowers for Cina, and dedicated it to my Nonna.

Writing his life story was one way that my grandpa passed on his faith and values to the next generation, but another way was through love. His gentleness, humility, and devotion to the Lord was evident in the way he lived. We grand kids saw it and it made an impression on all of us. 

May we all follow Grandpa Ernie's example and carry the torch of faith, telling the next generation of the love of our great God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

"But You, O LORD sit enthroned forever; Your renown endures through all generations." (Psalm 102: 12, NIV)

If I Should Die...

We're moving, and, oh what a chore packing is...

In all the hustle and bustle, I came across a note at the bottom of our file cabinet and was caught off guard. 

It was titled, "Things to do if I Die or Become Incapacitated," written in the Billy's handwriting. He had written it long ago and placed it there for me to find. Sharing my discovery with him, we opened it together. 

The note was written years ago, listing all our life insurance policies and who to call to get social security benefits. Then, at the bottom, was a letter written to me:

Chanda,

I love you so much and hope that you never need to use this. I wish you the best life imaginable and I encourage you to love again, but be picky!

Take care of the kids—that is your priority! With God's help you can do this.

Don't lose heart and don't give up.

You're so beautiful and special. I love you so dearly. Words can't really do justice to how I feel about you or how deep and close our relationship has become. 

You know I love you and you know that we have something so very beautiful and wonderful. 

I cringe when I think of the ways that I've hurt you and failed you. But God has made me a new man and he has saved our relationship—and our very selves. He has brought us together and he (if you are reading this) has now torn us apart. 

Our love has been a gift for eternity, but our husband/wife relationship is only for a time. 

Be strong, my love—for you will need to be. 

Be patient, for God will come through. 

Be hopeful, for we will see each other again someday. 

Take care of our kids—please don't let them forget me—or our Savior. 

Watch out, especially for Little Man—I worry about how he'll do without a Dad. Tell him how I love him and how he is the son I always dreamed of having. 

Be a strong example to my girls, they'll need your example even more. Don't let them forget how beautiful and special they are to me. 

You will have to console them while nursing your own wounds. It will be a difficult road ahead, but don't give up and don't lose heart. Jesus has overcome the world and He will see you through this. 

I love you so much! You are the girl of my dreams--I never even dreamed I would love someone so much! Goodbye my sweet darling. I will see you in heaven.

Love,

Billy

P.S. Sorry for the messy writing.

I wiped away tears and wrapped my arms around the love of my life, holding him tight. Thankfully, I got to read the letter as a love note, not a final farewell.

It made me think about how the Word of God is like the last love note of our Lord, Jesus, written to show us that the way of salvation is in Him alone. 

In it, He encourages us, helps us, and reminds us of His unfailing, undying love, a love that sent Him to die on a cross, but because He was God's own Son, He was raised back to life.

What He left for us is better than any life insurance policy.  To have our sins paid for and to be given eternal life, life without end--now that is better by far. Then, every Word in the love note will be fullfilled, the Word Himself will stand before us and live with us forever.  

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1,2).   

Practically a Teenager

Why do I call her Bright Girl?

 

She was my firstborn, my initiation into motherhood.
 

 

Picture taken by Krista Griese

Brand new life of my womb,
Warm and secure,
Surrounded by love,
Bursting forth like a rose bud in bloom,
My Bright Girl.

From baby with soft downy skin,
to toddler, to little girl,
to become a young lady,
pratically a teenager this month.

I can hardly believe it!  Time surely does fly away, never to return. 

Still, I have in my heart,

these precious memories of days gone by.

Stored away deep in my heart,

recollections of her discovery of art,
the journey of the imagination

in the pages of a good book,
and the expression and outpouring

of her own heart through poetry.

I wonder, is this the year my name transforms from Mommy to merely Mom? 

For the time being I'm still Mommy, and she still plays with dollies,
dips her feet in the garden fountains,
rests her head on my chest when days are rough,
prefers stories read to her rather than read alone,
before the nightly climb to her bunk.

Mothering my firstborn has been a gift and a joy.
It is the grace and love of God poured out to overflow.

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." (Psalm 139:14)

The Harvest

We get a little bit of autumn here in Florida.

Mostly it's a state of mind.

Pumpkin candles lit, fall decor, and a little more of a breeze.

 

Still, it sets my heart in tune with the reality of harvest time. 

Soon, there will be a harvest moon casting its amber glow upon the mossy oaks that hang low and a solitary hoot owl that makes nighttime that much more enchanting.

And then, there's the food.  The glorious, turkey-ous gravy-ous, pie-ous food!

And, the soporific affects afterward that send us into a loungy, hands on the tum sleepy bliss, like Pooh Bear after a lip smacking indulgence of honey pot sweetness; we are happy and full without a care in the world.

There's something expectant about autumn.

 

Maybe because it's a time of harvest,

a time to reflect on all we have to thank the Lord for,

and a time for hope that fills us and creates a longing for the One who is, who was, and who is to come.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." (Revelation 1:8, ESV)