Whenever I feel Afraid: 5 Ways to Deal With Anxiety

The bathroom is one of the scariest places for my five-year-old. I'm not sure if it is the enclosed space, the sounds that echo off the walls, or the loud flush, but she hates to go alone.

I'd love for her to get over her fears. But, I'm still learning to overcome mine.

In the middle of the night I'm awakened by what sounds like an explosion outside. My heart races. I breathe and pray. My anxiety soon lessens.

Rain patters on the window. The "explosion" was only thunder.

Underneath the bedroom door, a light shines. Someone is up.

When I open the door, my fifteen-year-old is pacing the living room.

"Are you okay?"

She stops pacing. "I can't sleep. My heart is beating so hard."

"Mine is, too."

After more prayers with my teenager, I switch off the light to her room and head to my own bedroom.

Although I'm pushing forty, fear seizes me the same way it hits my children.

It's cute when my five-year-old dances around the house singing, "Whenever I Feel Afraid" from the classic musical, The King and I. 

The words say,

While shivering in my shoes, I strike a careless pose, and whistle a happy tune, so no one ever knows I'm afraid. The result of this deception is very strange to tell, for when I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well.

It's cute, but it's not true.

We can't just whistle our fears away or pretend they don't exist.

The problem with the mentality of convincing ourselves, even deceiving ourselves that there is nothing to fear, is not living in the reality of a fallen world.

Fear is normal.  It is a part of our varied collection of emotions. It's there to alert us that something is dangerous, so that we can be wise and be safe.

All I have to do is turn on the news or scroll down the latest tweets and it's easy to see that there are real dangers out there.

Okay, so don't watch the news and stay off twitter.

Yesterday, my children witnessed a car accident outside the window of our church.

Okay, so don't leave the house.

Boxing ourselves in and trying to avoid our fears only serves to amplify them.

We would only make ourselves even less equipped to deal with the day-to-day stressors.

I've found being prepared to face my fears is a game changer.

An on-going battle plan to cope with life's hardships makes them less overwhelming.

Jesus said,

"The truth will set you free (John 8:32)."

He also said,

"I am the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6)." 

He wasn't merely talking about facing your fears, He was talking about knowing The Truth, who will set you free.

Knowing Him.

When we know him, all our fears are stripped away because we know Immanuel, The-God-Who-Is-With-Us and never lets us go. He's right beside us. Closer than the cold sweat on our brow. Closer than the tightening of our gut. Closer than the heart pounding in our chest.

He is there.

When we know Him, we can know He hears us. We can talk our fears out and ask for courage to face them. This brings me to the five ways I've discovered to deal with overwhelming fear.

1. Pray.

This is our first line of defense when facing our fears. We can't deal with them alone, and we don't have to. We have our Father in heaven, the Son who saved us, and the Holy Spirit who empowers us. Our Triune God longs to hear our prayers. He wants to help us, if we would only realize our need and ask.

2. Read God's Holy Inspired Word.

There is no other book like the Bible. It is living, active and speaks to our very soul. Giving us courage. Helping us to know what to do and when to do it. The Psalms help give voice to my fears. How many Psalms are there about deliverance? I've lost count. Proverbs helps me to know what to do. And, the rest of the books of the Bible are there to teach, exhort, and encourage me. Daily Bible reading is crucial to overcoming fear.

3. Memorize Key Verses.

Hiding God's Word in our heart, gives us the scaffolding we need to go higher than our fears. When we have the truth within, then the fears without can't crush us. The truth is stronger than our fears. When we turn to Jesus and trust in His truth, the battle is already won.

4. Journal.

Anxiety sometimes stems from being overwhelmed with too much information. Jotting down the swirling thoughts helps to organize, rationalize and prioritize the things we need to deal with. Along with journaling, listing can be helpful. After our To Do Lists, we can chart Thankfulness Lists, and Blessings Lists. These can remind us that there's more to life than the hard stuff.

5. Share.

Be with others who know Jesus. Share your fears and ask them to pray for your needs. Rely on others who have shared their stories. Read books and blogs by those who have learned how to face their fears in faith.

Fears don't have to overwhelm us because we belong to the One who faced the fear of execution on the cross. He took our shame, carried our sins upon His shoulders, and suffered the wrath of God on our behalf, all to save us. His name is Jesus and He wants to calm the storm of our fears. When we focus on Him, our hearts can finally rest.

The Pumpkin Patch Prayer

Having the kids help me run the pumpkin patch at my church seemed like a great idea. Hard work builds character, right?

It was our job to turn all the pumpkins so they wouldn't spoil, try to sell as many as possible and one more thing...

A new shipment of 300 pumpkins would be coming in and because the teens were at camp, there might not be a lot of help.

"Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts...(Psalm 139: 23,24)"

You better believe I was breathing this prayer to the Lord as I strolled around the pumpkin patch turning each one.

With my husband and children, we would have exactly six people to unload pumpkins, some as big or bigger than my four-year-old.

We needed help.

One college student showed up, but the delivery truck arrived late, and he had to leave for class.

Another young man, from another church hopped into the truck to help. And, he was a customer!

The delivery truck driver lent us a hand. He had other deliveries to make, and he saw we needed the help.

A few more people showed up. 

There weren't many of us working, but we formed a small line, passing the pumpkins one-by-one until they reached my husband who laid each of them on the ground.

Our hearts are like pumpkins in the Father's hands. When we go through difficulties and uncertain times, it's an opportunity to trust in Him more.

He washes us clean with the Word, pulls the stringy sin of self-reliance out of our hearts and sets us right-side up with the Light of His glorious grace shining bright within. 

My husband laid down the last pumpkin. By the grace of God, few hands made an overwhelming task get done.

Now we would have enough to sell at the fall festival on the weekend. And, it's true, hard work does build character, but the kids are not the only ones needing to grow.

"Create in me a clean heart O God, renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)"

God is Faithful: Treasures in the Snow

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Being a Florida girl, born and raised, I never did see snow until I was grown and married and had a few kids in tow.  It was amazing.  I felt like Lucy Pevensie when she stepped out of the wardrobe and into Narnia.  The little snowflakes ambled down, peppering my eyelashes and tickling my nose.

The autumn leaves changing is pretty sparse in Florida, so I'm packing up all our winter wear for our trip up to North Carolina tomorrow to see the real fall.

You never know what a trip up North will bring. 

The last time we visited the Carolinas was an adventure worth telling...

We were starting up the mountain on our way to our cabin.  It was evening and the ground and road were already covered in snow.  Our compact SUV did alright until we came to a steep part.  The snow had melted some and was icy and slippery. 

The Captain clicked the gear into 3D (which I think is mountain drive) and proceeded to go further up the mountain.  Panic struck when the wheels were spinning, but we were going nowhere and then backward, toward the ravine on the side of the road.  I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

Our SUV slid down and into the side of a snow bank, stopping us from going over the side of the mountain.  Relieved and shaken, I realized we were stuck in the snow.  We couldn't go up and we couldn't go back down the mountain.  The Captain turned on our hazard lights to keep anyone from hitting us in the dark. 

"We need to pray, you guys," I said to my husband and the kids.

The Captain and I prayed with the kids for help.  As soon as we finished praying, we saw someone walking in the snow right to where we were.  I rolled down the window to get a better look.

"You all need some help?" said a woman in a plaid flannel, sweat pants, and hiking boots.  Her husband walked up behind her.

"We're stuck," I said.

Scott and Denise were their names, and they were a God-send.  They offered to drive us in their massive 4-wheel drive pick-up truck up the mountain to our cabin--luggage, kids, and all. 

When we got to the cabin, we unloaded all our stuff and kicked the snow and mud off our boots.

"There's going to be more snow tonight," relayed Denise.  "You all might be stuck here for about a week until the snow melts."

That night, our trip looked as if it was ruined, and to top it all off, there was no food in the cabin except for ketchup and sugar packets left there from fast food restaurants.  We had eaten dinner before we went up the mountain, but what were we going to do for the rest of the week? 

Will God really provide for us like that?

The next day was like Christmas.  We got a knock on the door and there were Scott and Denise with boxes full of food.  They even gave us a gingerbread house kit for the kids.

I was humbled and my faith in God's faithfulness was renewed. 

The Lord was going to take care of us, so we need not fear.

That day, we had forgotten a few things in the SUV, so the Captain donned his snow gear and walked down the mountain.  When he came back, he was carrying our cell phone and our toboggan.

 

After calling a tow truck, we all went out and played in the snow and went sledding.

The Captain had our SUV towed to the bottom of the mountain to a parking lot, so we wouldn't get stuck again.  That night we had fresh pork loin (from a local farm) and home-grown canned green beans for dinner courtesy of Scott and Denise.

We stayed the rest of the week and from the pictures, you can tell our trip was not ruined.

Little Man getting ready to sled

Bob the snowman

The Captain posing with Bob

Snowball fight!

Making the gingerbread house

Our last day at the cabin

Eventually the snow melted and the snow plow shovelled the way for us to get down the mountain.

After another neighbor gave us a lift, we made it to our SUV, and were on our way back to sunny Florida.

This year we'll see what adventures the Lord has in store for us.

I know that no matter what, He is there for us and hears us when we call.

If you are a blogger, then I invite you to join the Christian Bloggers community in the #october2013blogchallenge and share how the Lord has been faithful to you.

Trusting in His Faithfulness,

Chanda
 

Raising Arizona

Before my Little Man was old enough for us to have to pay for an extra airline ticket, my husband and I decided it would be fun to visit one of the world's greatest wonders: the Grand Canyon.

We flew into Las Vegas first to visit relatives who we hadn't seen in years and then drove over the Hoover Dam and across the hilly landscape down to Arizona.  

Needless to say, the hilliness of the landscape did not sit well with a Bright Girl's tummy. She proceeded to empty her stomach and of all its contents across the Nevada border and all the way to Arizona.  

Once we were in Arizona, Little Man decided to join in on the fun, and made his mark in our rented SUV. By the time we got lost trying to find our hotel, it was dark, smelly, and loud with two sick children crying. 

Thankfully, we stopped at a little motel with a neon sign blinking bright and a kind manager who offered us some paper towels and directions to the hotel we had paid for.

That night was sleepless in Arizona. Bright Girl would not stop with the emptying of her stomach, and we were getting near ready to take her to the emergency room.

After a heated discussion (okay, an argument), we made up and prayed over her. 

We came all this way to see the Grand Canyon, and we are out of money, out of time, and out of our minds.  Could we please just get a glimpse of your glory, God?  

Bright Girl started to perk up. She drank some water. It stayed down. Hope began to well up inside of me. 

We're gonna see the Grand Canyon! What grace! Thank you, Lord!

We drove past a few hotels and then a short distance away there it was. An endless, cavernous rock, cut out in vibrant hues of reds, oranges, and browns.

This ancient canyon had many stories to tell. 

One came to mind of cataclysmic proportions...  

Cracking and convulsing, the water burst over and under and through the rock. Higher and higher it rose, covering the plains, hills, the highest mountain tops. Deluging all creation, except on the far side of the world, around the area that contained the fertile crescent, the cradle of civilization.  Above it all, one boat floated, keeping the last of humankind and animals safe.

This boat is remembered by all the earliest civilizations and has been kept preserved in the record passed on to Moses in Genesis 6-10. It held one family and two of every kind of animal plus seven pairs of each livestock and plenty of food to last many, many months.

The fact they survived was nothing short of a miracle.



And, here I was, a spectator of this Grand Remembrance of the event that the Lord used to rock the world and make it new again.

It will happen again. But, because of the bow in the sky and an ancient Promise, it will happen a different way. The earth will be made new again. There will be survivors. They are the chosen ones. And, like Noah, they have found grace in the eyes of the Lord (Genesis 6:8, 1 Peter 2:1-12).

"By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith (Hebrews 11:7)."

Sweeter Than Honey

Little Bit has not been sleeping well. Yesterday, I found out the reason why. Two pearly white teeth had busted through her swollen gums.

Lately, her fingers have been the teether of choice. One of them suffered a puncture wound, and it didn't take long for her to use the other fingers with less gusto.

Now, a pacified baby is one of the joys at our house. The children love to make her giggle--my Sunshine Girl most of all. The only problem is that they keep bonking heads with one another.

Sunshine Girl plays a game where she gets real close to Little Bit and pulls back quick and somehow that sends them both into boisterous belly laughs.

It never fails that after about the third try, Sunshine bonks heads with Little Bit. Laughs transform into cries, and I come in for the comfort of a mother's hug.
  
Discipline is not my favorite part of parenting, but the occasion arises more than occassionally. It was time that my cuddly, loveable Sunshine learn a little something about personal space. I had been learning some tactics from a book called Raising a Sensory Smart Child. Now, here was the perfect time to try it out.
 
"Imagine everybody has a bubble around them," I explained, "If you get too close to another person you could pop their bubble and sometimes that can hurt, like when you bop heads with your sister."

Holding my arms out straight, I showed her how big my bubble was, then I asked her how big hers was.
 
"Let's try to stay in our bubbles, okay?"

A nod of the head and a rush off to find more fun, indicated the attention span was spent. I hoped she got it.

Everytime since then, when I've seen her head get too close, I say, "bubble," and she pulls back a little. I think she's getting it.

We all need our own personal space, or boundaries, if you will. Especially moms. We need time to chill, to pray, to think about the important things, the beautiful things, the things that bring us joy. 

It's good to take a time-out in our busy lives to retreat to our own bubbles. But, let's not forget to let in the One who gives us everything we need and more.  We don't need a bubble with Him.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me (Revelation 3:20)."

In fact, many times, Christ is the One who gives us a bubble, or shield, especially in those times when we feel most powerless. He shields us from a mother's worst enemies--fear, depression, and shame.

"Do not be afraid Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward (Genesis 15:1)."

Like Abraham, following the Lord's leading into unknown territory, we can trust in Him when we come to the new places in our lives where we feel lost, alone, and totally out of control. Christ knows exactly where we're at, and He is the One who can calm our anxious hearts. 

It is in these places that the enemy of our soul is the most crafty at trying to impress on us that God is not trustworthy. It takes an extra measure of faith to still cling to the promises of God in His Word.

It helps to know His promises in the first place. That's where Bible study and memorizing key verses and passages becomes crucial, even life saving. Believe me, it is worth the effort.

Depression comes on swift and merciless. It casts its dark shadow over us and threatens to keep us there until we lose all hope that we'll ever see the light of day. I know this because I have been there. But, there is hope, and when we lose sight of it, we need someone to rescue us.

We need Jesus.  

When we look to Jesus, the Word who took on flesh and blood, He offers us His protection, His shield to quench all those fiery darts of falsehood that we are somehow abandoned by God, worthless, or a disappointment.

"As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is proven, He is a shield to all who trust in Him (Psalm 18:30)."

True, life is full of disappoinments, but there are days when we feel like we are the biggest disappointment of all. I don't know if you've been there, but sometimes I feel like I want to just crawl under a rock and stay there.

And, that's okay.

God is that Rock. He is our shield. He sings over us, and reminds us that His love is not based on our performance, but on His great, unfailing, love displayed by Christ's sacrifice for our sins on the cross. He will never leave us, never. He will never reject us, not ever. We can trust in Him always.

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance (Psalm 32:7)."