We're moving, and, oh what a chore packing is...
In all the hustle and bustle, I came across a note at the bottom of our file cabinet and was caught off guard.
It was titled, "Things to do if I Die or Become Incapacitated," written in the Billy's handwriting. He had written it long ago and placed it there for me to find. Sharing my discovery with him, we opened it together.
The note was written years ago, listing all our life insurance policies and who to call to get social security benefits. Then, at the bottom, was a letter written to me:
Chanda,
I love you so much and hope that you never need to use
this. I wish you the best life imaginable and I encourage you to love again,
but be picky!
Take care of the kids—that is your priority! With God's
help you can do this.
Don't lose heart and don't give up.
You're so beautiful and special. I love you so dearly.
Words can't really do justice to how I feel about you or how deep and close our
relationship has become.
You know I love you and you know that we have something
so very beautiful and wonderful.
I cringe when I think of the ways that I've hurt you and
failed you. But God has made me a new man and he has saved our relationship—and
our very selves. He has brought us together and he (if you are reading this)
has now torn us apart.
Our love has been a gift for eternity, but our
husband/wife relationship is only for a time.
Be strong, my love—for you will need to be.
Be patient, for God will come through.
Be hopeful, for we will see each other again
someday.
Take care of our kids—please don't let them forget me—or
our Savior.
Watch out, especially for Little Man—I worry about how
he'll do without a Dad. Tell him how I love him and how he is the son I always
dreamed of having.
Be a strong example to my girls, they'll need your
example even more. Don't let them forget how beautiful and special they are to
me.
You will have to console them while nursing your own
wounds. It will be a difficult road ahead, but don't give up and
don't lose heart. Jesus has overcome the world and He will see you through
this.
I love you so much! You are the girl of my dreams--I
never even dreamed I would love someone so much! Goodbye my sweet darling. I
will see you in heaven.
Love,
Billy
P.S. Sorry for the messy writing.
I wiped away tears and wrapped my arms around the love of my life, holding him tight. Thankfully, I got to read the letter as a love note, not a final farewell.
It made me think about how the Word of God is like the last love note of our Lord, Jesus, written to show us that the way of salvation is in Him alone.
In it, He encourages us, helps us, and reminds us of His unfailing, undying love, a love that sent Him to die on a cross, but because He was God's own Son, He was raised back to life.
What He left for us is better than any life insurance policy. To have our sins paid for and to be given eternal life, life without end--now that is better by far. Then, every Word in the love note will be fullfilled, the Word Himself will stand before us and live with us forever.
"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1,2).
